The bush fires in Australia was so tragic, I cried my eyes out watching horrible fire scene videos. Earthquakes in my country Turkey, crushes, racism, women murders, censorship news, global pandemic and much more... My nervous mechanism, just like many others, couldn't cope with it well. I was living in USA when the COVID-19 happened. I was miles miles away from my friends and family for months and isolation was not good for me at all. Homesickness stroked harder than ever, triggered my anxiety and I found myself, constantly having dark thoughts, constantly on the verge of crying without any particular reason. It was like PMS for so many months... As a freelancer, my work depends on my motivation and when I felt too sad to even leave the bed, it started to effect everything. Dark thoughts stroked mostly at night out of nowhere. My inner voice was super destructive, constantly reminding me my past traumas, making up scary scenarios, telling me how I lack the talent for what I want to accomplish.
Two months ago I participated in an 8 week online workshop/webinar about "Mindfulness". I have been practicing yoga for 6 years now so I was already aware of the term but lately I had lost my motivation to do yoga and meditation too. It started with basic, short "awareness" meditations and each week they enlarged the homework and we learned about; self love, stress management, kindness. The most important one was the kindness we need to show to ourself. I realized I have been avoiding myself, spiraling around the negative thoughts rather than accepting the facts and focusing what is good. Just focusing on my breath for few minutes a day, changed everything.
First I had to accept what I was feeling. There was(still is) an on going pandemic and hearing how many people died every day was rough. I was worried about my loved ones. I was uncertain about my career, what I want to do with my life, am I capable of doing it? I was away from my family. I lived with my mom for 23 years and spent so much time with my friends and family now they were. Then I took a breath and accepted them. It was so normal to feel the way I feel away from your comfort zone. I reminded myself, I just graduated from university. It is okay to not figure things out immediately. It is okay if things take time. My friends and family love me so much no matter where I am. They support me and living here will create more opportunities. I have my boyfriend near me who is incredibly supportive and loving. I showed kindness to myself. Things are rough, but you went through worse, you are capable of going through this time, everything will be alright.
If I leave past sorrows, future worries and stay in the moment; there wont be any suffering.
Realizing my emotions and accepting them helped me gain control over my feelings. We are living in a crazy world and one thing or another makes us stressed or upset. Thats when we immediately need to find what will put us in a better state.
Things Help Me Relieve Stress
Talking my best friend on the phone
Drinking a nice cup of herbal tea
Taking a warm shower
Spending time in the nature
Meditating
Journaling
Comments